Obama,Bin Laden and US bungles

Dear Barack Obama, President of the United States of America,

          Can’t you Yanks get your act together? When it comes to the big time in America you contrive to ensure that just about everything turns out to be a monumental bungle that spawns a million mystery theories.

          You can’t even keep your presidents safe so it was hardly surprising that 9/11 occurred.

          In a country notorious for having its presidents taken out your Secret Service or whoever the agency was that was supposed to guard John F. Kennedy allowed him to drive around in an open car. And surprise, surprise in a country where guns of all types are as easily available as sweets the President gets the bullet. Not long afterwards the same thing happens to his brother Bobby who was a Presidential hopeful at the time.

          In both cases nothing was clear cut about the subsequent investigations and the theories multiplied like measles at a kindergarten.

        In the aftermath of 9/ll it became clear that if your intelligence agency, sorry unintelligent agency, had been doing its job properly the people who crashed the planes into those towers would never have got off the ground. God knows they had enough leads to go on to prevent this before it happened.

          Now we have the Bin Bungle. You and your counter terrorist advisers tell the world an ever changing version of what happened when US Navy Seals commandos were supposed to a have shot Osama bin Laden. I would hate to have you guys giving evidence for the defence at my trial.

          How many versions are we going to get Mr President, from the head of the so called most powerful nation in the world. One minute we are told that when the Seals stormed Bin Laden’s fortified compound at Abbottabad where the terrorist mastermind was shot dead, he was armed and resisted capture by using his wife as a shield. Three other men and a woman were also killed in the raid.

          One of three helicopters went down with technical problems. Shouldn’t they have been told not to use secondhand ones on such an important occasion?

          Then after we hear that his 12 year old daughter Safia claimed her father who was unarmed, was taken alive and slaughtered in front of his family Leon Panetta, your Central Intelligence Agency director gives us another angle. They would have captured him alive if he had put up his hands and surrendered but as this never happened the Seals had full authority to kill him.

          In other words they were old style Wild West shoot to kill bounty hunters.

          To perpetuate the confusion and the spate of mystery ideas that always go with American killings of this kind the body was dumped at sea. Let’s face it who wanted to see it anyway.

          But for those who think Mr President that this killing was just a publicity stunt to boost your popularity and that the real Bin Laden is still out there planning a Five Towers operation this time I see that a DNA sample was taken from the body. How does that make your story more convincing?

          As a complete novice in these matters I thought that for DNA to be of any use you had to have known DNA from somewhere else with which to compare it. Where is that going to come from Barack, my dear chap – the same body that is now floating in the ocean somewhere?

          One report I saw said that you and your security officials were watching the whole operation on video from the White House situation room. So how come we have got so many conflicting official versions? Was the picture a bit blurred or did you perhaps have a power failure?

          It’s rather like interviewing people who have just left a football match only to find that hardly any of them can tell you the correct score.

          Just admit it Mr President you haven’t a clue about what actually happened with the result that nobody else has either.

          As a well known Unintelligent Adviser my advice to you and your Intelligence Agency hot shots is to make sure you keep well away from open limousines for at least the next 50 years.

       Fresh air is all very well but you don’t want it blowing through your head.

          Yours faithfully,

          Jon, a Concerned Observer.

PS. My name’s Abbott (referred to by my ex as a Bad Abbott- too close to Abbottabad for comfort) Mr President so can you make doubly sure that none of your slippery Seals rock up at my house because I don’t think they would be convinced if I was to tell them that there have been no weapons here of any kind since the place was built.  Also we haven’t got room for helicopter wrecks in the garden.