Thursday, April 30, 2020

A DEARJON CORONA SCOOP - Confessions of a top Government Minister verbatim

Dear South Africans,

          This is a huge DearJon Corona Scoop – a verbatim copy of what a senior South Africa Minister plans to tell us in the next few weeks.
          “I felt it was my duty in these trying times to put you right about exactly what you will be forced to do in the various lockdown stages that we have come up with entirely for your own protection. As the Kick Butt Minister my duty is to coordinate everything. Before I give you the details I must say it hasn’t been helpful for the DA party to label me the Minister of Confusion when I have been doing my best to make sure our people sail through this disruption in their lives as easily as possible.
          “The DA could have been more original. Our President had already bagged that title when he announced cigarettes could be sold again. He inadvertently failed to consult our Honourable Minister of Bad Habits, who promptly overruled him. Having had considerable experience of telling a President what to do during her 16 year stint as wife of our previous President, it was felt she knew best. In any case she had science on her side.
          “Before deciding that all the smokers in the country would have to go without their cigs because they compromise lungs and that’s where Corona hits first, she consulted our two best known illegal cigarette racketeers. If anybody should know how bad legal cigarettes (those that boost our tax revenue by millions) are it’s these two gentlemen.
          “Any suggestion that by reversing what our President said will give these wide boys millions more in under the table money is totally unfounded. Our Minister of Bad Habits has assured me that these men have given her their word that this will not happen.
          “She knows she can rely on them because they are good friends. Like her and the rest of us they only want the best for cigarette smokers.
There's no smoke for these gentlemen without a helpful Minister
          “We’ve had a few initial mishaps in Stage 5 that our President has decided, provided one of my fellow honourable Ministers doesn’t have a better idea, should not be allowed to happened again when we open more stages.
          “I don’t know if I should tell you this. You know how unpatriotic our DA is. They do everything to try and make our ANC party look more stupid than it is. And I don’t want that Helen woman to come out of her Twitter hibernation to tell the world that our country would have done a much better job of it if the Virus had hit us in Colonial times.
          I saw a tweet from that trouble maker Jon that I can’t leave unchallenged. He claimed that he would not give a cent to any charity administered by our Government  because, judging by the millions we spent on bringing those highly trained Cuban doctors here to help, the Government can’t be trusted to spend our money wisely.
          “This is completely untrue. As the Gupta Brothers would tell us, if only they were here, their charitable offerings were pocketed extremely furtively under the direction of our former President Zuma.
          “At our most recent get together we Ministers discussed the possibility of sending a charter plane to India to bring the Brothers here to advise us on how best to capture this Virus.  After all this should be child’s play for them; you’ve got to have a lot upstairs to capture a country the size of ours with 60-m people.
          “Our President and the rest of us Ministers have agreed to take an 80% salary cut to get them here if they’ll come. I’m convinced they will reduce their normal consultancy fee to help a country that has been so good to them. They will of course receive immunity from prosecution, much like those illegal cigarette barons are getting as part of our ‘Fight Corona’ master plan.
          “We are so lucky to have a President who was a top businessman. With him at the helm it won’t be long before all those derogatory ratings about the state of our economy will be gone. He is doing his best for our country. Our Minister of Police is busy tracking down that person; I think it was that Jon again, who made a derogatory tweet about him after he messed up on TV when putting his mask back on. This could have happened to anybody but this person chose to tweet: ‘Luckily he didn’t show us how to wash our hands.’  
          “Anyway what I was going to tell you is that in an effort to get the economy rolling, so as to reduce starvation as much as possible, we decided to allow roadside stalls to open as they are run by the poorest members of our informal sector, you know jovial one parent Mamas battling to feed numerous kids.

          “You would have thought that our officials on the ground would have warned us that this was not a good idea and could only damage the ANC’s name still further. If I had my way I would have got rid of the lot ages ago, starting with those top managers, who have been on suspension for years on full pay.
          “Hundreds of them, particularly in Kwazulu-Natal, rushed to man their stalls that had been standing empty for weeks. They stacked them with cabbages and various other things that they usually sell and sat there like fisherman waiting for a bite. The bites never came.
          “It wasn’t even raised at any of our Ministerial Waffles that this could happen. So it came as a complete surprise to all of us that roadside stalls are pointless when we have gone to so much trouble to keep everyone off the roads.  
          “I must emphasise that our President had no part in this Corona bungle, but I do think our Minister of Bad habits should have seen it coming if she hadn’t been spending so much time with her illegal cigs pals. Some people say she’s so involved with them she can’t be fagged to do anything else. There’s some unfounded (aren’t they all) rumour that she befriended them to get financial backing for her bid to become President when her ex Jacob Zuma got the boot. Money talks. No wonder she thinks she’s the President now. 
          “I’m afraid I’m going to blame our officials again for this one, although it wasn’t entirely their fault. It didn’t come up at any of our Ministerial meetings until the damage had been done. The sale of seed to farmers was banned. Our scientists told us that seeds go through numerous hands before they get to farmers, whereas this was not the case for tractors. You know how hands are blamed for much of the way the Virus spreads, so our officials had to go with the scientists. It was sheer luck that this was stopped before we ran out of food. Farmers now have enough tractors to last a life time. John Deere never had it so good.
          “Before I go I would like to thank our Minister in the Hat, whose name escapes me, for ensuring that nobody dares to defy the lock down any more. It was a wise move for our cops, ably backed by the army, to knock hell out of anybody found on our streets, when we’ve warned them repeatedly not to give our law enforcers any lip.
          “I must single out another stalwart of our party for special praise. He’s quite a card. I know he’s not a Minister but he does have a very powerful position in our party structure.
          “How about this for an outstanding philanthropic gesture? He’s agreed not to sue the author of a completely libellous book that was written about him on condition that the author agrees to give 50% of the book’s sales to the Solidarity Fund. It’s called something like What a State We’re In. An agreement has now been reached because he is confident that nobody will believe what has been written about him in the book, anyway. This is the kind of gutter journalism we in the ANC have to put up with all the time.
          “Oh! I nearly forgot here’s a couple more things I need to clarify. Running between 6.00 am and 9.00 am will only be allowed if you are not fleeing from the police or the army. I didn’t choose these times, but there must be some scientific reason for them. I must just warn you that it’s pitch dark at 6.0 am in the Cape at this time of year as winter sets in, so take a torch to make sure you don’t bump into another runner and watch out for muggers. Cape Town has a bit of a reputation for these.
          “Queueing for food will be restricted to a 20 kilometer line and nobody, other than law enforcement officers will be allowed to drive up and down the queue. It of course means no mini-bus taxis. We all know how just one taxi accident can put up our Corona death toll by 20% or more.
          “On the plus side at least we’ve solved the traffic problem, although I must warn those who are legally allowed to be on the roads, that the idea was not to turn them into another Kyalami race track.
          “You must all realise that lockdown is working. You may not think so if you are starving, but our scientists have assured us that’s a lot better than getting the Corona Virus. That’s the least we in the ANC are aiming for – the best of a bad job.
          “Thank you all for listening. Just stick to the rules for the benefit of all of us.”
This is the first scoop of this magnitude that I have had for my little blog. I owe it entirely to having the right contacts that are prepared to stick their necks out to make sure somebody like me gets the news first.

Sunday, April 26, 2020


Dear Mothers everywhere,

          What would you think if your son became ill and died in hospital and the Death Notice you received from the authorities stated his death was an “unnatural” one?
          This is exactly what happened to Fatima Kiel. The distress of losing her son Fuad Petersen very suddenly at the age of 48 was compounded by the mystery that this word cast over the cause of his death.
He was living with her in the family's flat in the Ocean View Township in Cape Town’s Southern suburbs when his body began to swell excessively. He was taken to the False Bay Hospital nearby from where he was transferred to the larger Groote Schuur Hospital as his condition deteriorated.
There, she was told, the doctors decided to amputate his one leg, but sadly he never survived the operation.
This could hardly be classified as an “unnatural death,” so you can imagine how worried she got when she saw what was on the form. She was thinking of all kinds of horrendous possibilities that are all too common in gangster riddle Ocean View where shootings are an almost daily occurrence. ‘How could he have died violently without us knowing?’ kept haunting her.
She works for us so I set out to solve this ‘who done it’ that the Police showed no sign of doing. The way the form had been completed by Dr Laura Taylor the state pathologist at the Division of Forensic Medicine at the University of Cape Town complicated the case even further.
She certified that she had done a medico-legal investigation into Fuad’s death and that his body was no longer required for the purposes of the Inquest Act. How odd is that if his death was an unnatural one?
Under the section headed Cause of Death there are three blocks: 30.1 Natural; 30.2 Unnatural and 30.3 Under investigation and she marked the Unnatural block with an X. The rest were left blank. In what country would an “unnatural death” not be investigation other than in South Africa if this kind of mumbo jumbo is to be believed?
In an effort to get hold of Dr Taylor I phoned the number given for her on the form and when the lady who answered told me she was not there she gave me the doctor’s email address.
10 February 2020: I emailed Dr Taylor; explained the problem Fatima was having, and included copies of the controversial document the doctor had signed as well as the Death Certificate. I emphasised that the ‘not knowing’ had just added to Fatima’s grief. “Can you tell me what evidence you had that made you conclude that Fuad died of ‘unnatural causes’?” I asked. I got a message to say my email had been delivered but no reply.
20 Feb: As I got no reply to my first email, I sent another one asking if she got it. “If so,” I told her, “I would be very much obliged if you could give me an answer because his mother is in quite a state because she doesn’t know why the cause of her son’s death has been described as ‘unnatural causes.’?” I got no reply.
2 March: I emailed her again saying: “As a pathologist who works with the police I assume you are a government employee. If this is the case it is deplorable that you don’t answer my emails when I am trying to get clarity for a mother about how her son died. The Notice of Death document with your stamp and signature on it is confusing to say the least. How can an ‘unnatural death’ not be under investigation unless of course this had been completed by the time you filled in the form. It’s hard to imagine how this could be possible because Petersen died on 21 January 2020 and your stamp on the document indicates that you completed it two days later. The Police don’t normally work that quickly.
          “This is a terrible way for the authorities to treat people when one of their loved ones die especially, as was the case, here when her son was only 48.” Still no reply.
          After making further unsuccessful attempts to contact the doctor on the phone the lady who answers it told me I should contact Detective Booi at the Woodstock Police station, which is a long way from Fatima’s home and ours.
          I called him several times only to be put through to extensions that nobody answered AT A POLICE STATION. Then one day my luck changed. An officer told me I should phone back shortly as Detective Booi had gone out for a few minutes. When I did that the same policeman answered and when I asked for Detective Booi this dark comedy took a new twist. Booi he said was on leave.
            After he apologised for his mistake I made a last ditch effort to get to the bottom of this strange government behaviour. I told him what I wanted to know. To
 begin with he said that Fatima would have to come to Woodstock as it was not something they could discuss over the phone. Then he mellowed and gave me this hard to believe information - a new policy had been introduced and the Police were now treating all deaths like Petersen’s as “unnatural”.
          That means our Police Service is turning natural deaths into crime mysteries when there is no logical reason for doing this. And what’s more these are unique to the world – they never do get investigated properly or at all.
          Fatima subsequently got a message via a relative that there was nothing “unnatural” about her son’s death. This made her son’s Death Certificate completely untrue.  It states he died of “unnatural causes” (plural) and the signature on it, which is said to be that of the Director-General: Home Affairs, is so ridiculously flamboyant that nobody would be able to even guess what his/her name is.
Jon, an investigator, Consumer Watchdog and Poorman’s Press Ombudsman.
P.S. Our South African Police Service has always had a Keystone Cops aura about it, together with a reputation for not being too finicky about sticking to the law when dealing with suspects. So this kind of ridiculous change in the way deaths are dealt with can do nothing to endear it to the public. And as a doctor you would think that Laura Taylor would have at least answered my emails even if she has no say in how the policy is implemented.   

Friday, April 10, 2020


Dear Sensible People,
Four Cape Town bottle stores
looted in 24 hours. What will
be next?

          This global lockdown is doing far more harm to everybody than any virus and if you take South Africa as an example this is why it should never have happened. Here we call it a national disaster to make it more scary.
          By 10 April 2020 there were 2003 confirmed cases with 24 deaths in a population of 60-Million 15 days into the 21 day lockdown, which has just been extended by another two weeks.

Tuberculosis (TB):
This has been running wild in ourr country for years and nobody suggested any form of lockdown to contain it. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO) it has been the leading cause of deaths in the entire country with 63 000 in 2018. This was down considerably from the 124 000 who died in 2016, but the decrease had nothing to do with any lockdown. TB is very similar to the Corona Virus in that it is spread from person to person through the air when somebody sneezes, coughs or even talks. In Cape Town where the homeless were being put into special shelters there were reports of this being stopped because TB was so prevalent among them. Before this current worldwide PANIC did you ever see anybody going to the shops wearing a mask to prevent them from getting TB?  I accept there is medication for this, but it hasn’t stopped far more people dying than anything like the numbers that will succumb to Corona for which there is, as yet, no antidote. Have we ever done anything on a large scale to prevent the interaction of people aimed at curbing the spread of                                                            *    *    *    *                       
This is what our daughter Belinda Glynn in Australia thinks about the Corona
remedy. If you believe she just went along with with my view you would would be totally
wrong. I stopped influencing her independent thought when was about 3 and still living in South Africa
HIV/ Aids: South Africa is said to have the highest incidence of this in the world.  In 2018 71 000 people were classified as having died from Aids related deaths. There is no cure for it but lives can be prolonged with antiviral treatment. In that year there were 240 000 new infections and our country has an estimated 7-million people living with the disease. It makes them susceptible to fatal consequences if they get certain other illnesses. In spite of the huge number of Aids deaths there has never been any kind of ban on sleeping together although Corona has prompted our comical Minister of Police Bheki Cele to add a no kissing rule to the ‘keep your distance’ one we already had. In fact the current Corona lockdown could cause a massive spike in Aids. If you are confined to your home or live in a shack with no TV what are you mostly likely to do for entertainment? Sales of condoms and Viagra are booming according to somebody we know who works in a pharmacy. Many men however, won’t wear any kind of protection and the poor can't afford condoms anyway. Why hasn’t Cele banned the sale of these because they are clearly encouraging people to do a lot more than touch each other. When did we last have a total lockdown to try and eradicate this deadly disease?
                                                  *    *    *    *
Influenza and Pneumonia: According to the WHO 35 331 people died of these in South Africa in 2017 with flu accounting for around 11 000 a year. The flu vaccine is about 60% effective in healthy adults but the problem is that not nearly enough people get this done. Has South Africa ever made it compulsory to have a flu vaccination?
                                                  *    *    *    *
Road accidents: There are around a million road accidents a year in South Africa of which more than 40 a day result in fatal injuries. But have any of our leaders ever so much as suggested that every driver must stay at home until they have passed an advanced driving test?
                                       *    *    *    *                                         
              The total so far in the 210 countries that have got the Virus is 1 617 530; deaths 97 236 and known recoveries 366 407 in a population of 7.8-billion. A drop in the ocean you could say.   
          As far as I was able to establish the world has never been closed before the way governments have been PANICED into doing now by this Corona Virus. An increased sense of anxiety is one of the mental stresses suffered by those with a panic disorder.  This results in the misinterpretation of non-threatening situations as terrifying events.
          This is exactly what I believe leaders of countries everywhere have done because of an illness that is no more deadly than a host of others that have been with us for a long time.
        The economic destruction they are causing is too terrifying to contemplate with none of the financial experts able to put a price on it because it is so vast.
Jon, a realist who is thankful he and his wife have a TV to watch as well as other technical ways of staying in touch with the rest of the world; no business, no bond, no car repayments and that there is a guarantee on our retirement income investment so it won’t be affected by the stock exchange crash.  
See also:panic could destroy most of us ; Is Sweden the country to follow           

Friday, April 3, 2020


Dear PANIC stricken VIRUS scaremongers,

         Bravo Sweden! Well done. Out of the 2003 or so countries that have so far got it this tiny country with a population of 10-million is the first to wake up to the fact that lock-down will do more harm than good.
         According to Britain’s The Telegraph “To Swedes, it’s the rest of the world engaging in a reckless experiment. Faced with what many believe will be a manageable illness Sweden has decided, for now at least, that lock-down represents a greater risk.” 
         It has 5 568 confirmed cases with 308 deaths.
         Meanwhile the rest of the world is committing hara-kiri with various lock-down versions. Millions of people are losing their jobs daily and are wondering where the next meal will come from let alone pay the mortgage, car repayments and a host of other things.
         Economies are being devastated. You can’t raise taxes if nobody is working.
           Globally the number of cases has reached 1 000 000 in a population of 7.8- billion. What’s that as percentage? I can’t work it out but it must be such a small fraction that if your own savings went down by that amount you wouldn’t even notice it. So if you did the same calculation with the 53 000 deaths so far the result would be even more minute.
         In spite of this governments everywhere are doing what no virus ever could. Corona must be laughing at how a brainless virus has been able to spread such a deadly PANIC among what is supposed to be the earth’s most advanced form of life.
         You can’t get much more brainless than that.
She is South Africa's richest woman so she knows what she's talking about. Is this what we
want because governments are too pigheaded to change to the Swedish way.
         In South Africa the caged sexes are tearing each other apart with 87 000 gender-based violence cases reported in just one week. And 1 700 people have been arrested for being naughty by breaking the curfew in just as short a period. Where they are putting them all is anybody’s guess.
So which is worse: confining people to stop them getting something that has so far affected 1462 lives in South Africa with 5 deaths in a population of 60-Million or let them live normally knowing that Corona is no more lethal than numerous other illnesses people get every day?
         For a moment Donald Trump showed the same kind of sensible approach to the Virus as the Swedes when he said: “We can’t have the cure worse than the problem.” But then he chickened out and didn’t take it any further, although I accept that he has his difficulties. The governors in each of the 52 US states make their own decisions about what should be done to counteract the Virus. This has resulted in no uniformity with three out of four Americans under some form of lock down.
         The USA PANIC record is 245 175 cases and 6069 deaths in a population of 331-million.
This sums up the situation perfectly
         So before we bankrupt and starve the world by making everybody stay at home for weeks or months every country needs to follow the Swedish example.
It’s the only one that makes sense.
Jon, an anti-lock-down advocate.