For those who have the same warped sense of humour this Letter can also be had in French.
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Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Where's our Patriotism?
Dear Comrade Jacob, Towards a 100 years of selfless strugglewas the banner above your headat a recent African National Congress get-together. It makes a change from that Shapiro shower doesn’t it? And we all thought you guys didn’t have a sense of humour. Being anti-press your people don’t believe in editors and I can see why. Had theselfless part been deleted the rest would have been more or less true. Then again I’m not too well up on ANC culture. Has the ANC got a meaning for selflesswhich a whitey like me has never heard of? I know I’ve got a bit of a cheek making the following suggestion after having just admitted that I haven’t a clue what your culture entails. But Mr President didn’t you really mean Towards a 100 years of selfish struggle?In our European culture that would be a lot closer to the mark if you have a party with so many members who have been filling their boots at the tax payer’s expense. Mr President, before you give me the standard Government answer let me tell you that I’ve just looked up racist in a new English dictionary I found that contains a lot of South African words. Aracist, it says, is anybody, usual white, who thinks that your Government is not entirely perfect. Allied to this is its definition of xenophobia as somebody who hatesracists. So as a progressive leader sir, it looks as though you’ll have to revise Government policy and find another excuse for leading us into the promiseBananaland. That same dictionary tells us that Bananaland is not aptly named because there are no bananas or anything else there, much like the one your pal Mad Bob is running to the north of us. The anniversary of those 100 years the banner was talking about, will I believe be next year, but if you don’t get your government officials and other followers to slow down on thetheft and wastage of our funds there won’t be anything left for a celebration. And if you can’t have a huge shindig costing billions you can imagine how morale in your party will suffer. Please bear in mind that the money at the top of the egg timer is getting very low and you should know better than any of us how quickly it runs out. After all didn’t you have to get that Shaik chap to lend you a rand or two at one time. How about this for an idea? Can’t you convince your comrades to try aiming for 100 years of patriotism?That’s putting thecountry before your own selfish needs in case you don’t know. Why not start by hoistingthe South African flag on every government building and at every school.
I don’t mean for a couple of weeks until they get nicked. I mean as a permanent reminder of what patriotism is all about. And simultaneously get your followers to start acting responsibly by looking at our flag every day and repeating, Without patriotism our country will never be great and patriotism only comes if you have a country to be proud of. See you at the100 years of patriotismcelebrations, if you can make it. Your learned adviser, Jon
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