Big,Bad,Bad First National Bank

Dear Michael Jordaan, Chief Executive of First National Bank,

         The scary thing is that if it has been allowed to go on for so long at one of your 700 odd branches could it also be this bad at some of the others?

         A cancer like this could eventually destroy your entire empire.

         Have you or any of your executives ever been to the Long Beach Mall branch in Cape Town and looked at the Give us your thoughts book in which clients give you feedback about the standard of your service?

         The one there now only goes back as far as August last year thank goodness because that’s more than shocking enough.

The majority of what’s there is a terrible indictment of FNB’s management.

But the worst part is that it has been allowed to fester away for years without anybody doing a thing about it.

         If I was you I would remove this record of the Worst Service I have ever experienced. All it’s doing is telling everybody who cares to look how FNB’s management has failed dismally.

         I hate to say I told you so, but I did more than two years ago. And I even wrote about it on my blog. If you remember yours was the Bad of Good and Bad Banks (December 2010).

         Here are some of the hair-raising extracts from this litany of how not to run a business of any kind.

         26/8/11 Once again no service. Only 2 tellers. It’s Friday. The worst service in FNB – Brian Mitchell.

         26/8/11 Easily the worst FNB branch in the country. This is my second complaint about service. Nobody cares – Brad Bell.

         2/9/11 This is the worst service I have ever experienced in a bank – Rob Dent.

         21/10/11 Have never had feedback re shocking service here – Lynn Jenkine.

  

         These are followed by other anonymous ones just as damaging.

         "Rather close the branch."

         "Who’s reading our comments and is not doing anything about them?  Definitely changing banks soon."

         "Goodbye. Hello Capitec (bank)."

         "Welcome to 3^rd World Banking."

         "Where ever I am in this bank everybody around me is upset and angry – no service."
         Then there is the one that is perhaps the most telling of all. It was possibly written by somebody who works at the branch.

         "It’s not the teller’s fault. It’s all the supervisors and senior people’s fault. One supervisor ran away."

         Whoever wrote that can say that again. The senior people are entirely to blame.

         Heads should roll don’t you think Michael? The question is whose?

         Last week my wife Gayle went to the branch to pay money into our daughter’s account. She walked out on three days because the queues were so long and finally paid the money in after a half an hour wait. There was only one teller and it was Saturday morning!

         As you know when I told you about my wife’s experience you asked Barry de Witt your CEO of Branch Banking to investigate and contact me. All he did was to get the poor woman who was only appointed the branch manager two months ago to phone me.

         "Talk about running for cover in the face of the enemy and passing the buck," I then told you. "Evidently Barry didn't have the courage to contact me," my email went on. "Your manager is powerless to do anything about the situation if you and top management are not prepared to do anything.

         "In the same Mall there is Absa, Nedbank and Standard and I have been into all of them and I have never once had the same bad experience as my wife and I have had at the FNB branch."

         Soon afterwards Barry phoned to say he was looking into it. About time wouldn’t you say after three or perhaps more years of horrible service that everybody in your bank should have been aware of?

         He followed this with an email saying, "We have arranged to increase staff numbers." He didn’t say by how many so only time will tell whether things will improve or if the branch will remain as a monument to BAD, BAD Service.

         Regards,

         Jon, the Consumer Watchdog with dogged determination.

Manna from Heaven - Wealthdesign's 30% interest

Dear Mike Brown Chief Executive of Nedbank,

         As a well known bank watcher I thought I would tip you off about something that could save your bank a fortune in advertising costs. And as your bank is one of the largest in South Africa’s this could mean a great deal of money.

         I have just seen your bank’s half page advert in the Sunday Times in your green corporate colours. Ads like this in a paper with some 3-million readers don’t come cheap.

So why waste the money if you are going to be shown up in the same paper?

         What I’m talking about is the Nedbank JustInvest Deposit account that you were bragging about. You told the paper’s readers that this pays A great rate of up 5.25% pa. 

       But on the front of that very same edition there was another offer that made your measly 5.25% interest appear to be such insignificant chicken feed as to not be worth considering.

         I don’t know if you are aware of it, but if this takes off your bank and all the other recognised ones as well as our Government’s Retail Bonds might as well shut up shop because they will not be able to compete.

So when you are next at the club can you pass this on to your fellow bankers at First National, Absa, Standard and any others I haven’t thought of? 

         And if you have any gold or diamond mining buddies like the Oppenheimers tell them to start filling in the holes because those too will be obsolete.

         The Sunday Times readers were told they could enjoy a lifestyle not normally associated with the ownership of a traditional business venture or franchise.

        Here’s the bonanza that you won’t get anywhere else in the world.

        A crowd calling themselves Wealthdesign are offering 30% fixed returns on 1^st R1m & 19% on further capital. The business is described as a low risk, effortless one in the financial industry. But on it’s website it is said to be essentially risk free. So take your pick.

The registration fee for this kind of investment is R50 000.

        If you don’t happen to have such big bucks there is the Cambist scheme which offers a 24% annual return on amounts of R1 000 or more.

Talk about manna from Heaven.

         Best of all you don’t need premises, equipment, staff, office hours, experience, skills or marketing to cash in. 

         It’s too unbelievable for words.

         If only the Governments of Greece, Italy, Spain etc would realise that they don’t have to go begging for bail outs. With interest rates in Europe at nearly nothing all they have to do is put all their country’s money in South Africa and abracadabra their financial woes will be solved. 

         The Wealthdesign’s magic comes under Oneserv, a division of the Pretoria based Onesys Group that was established 18 years ago and now consists of 11 companies.

Oneserv we are told was established to take advantage of the lucrative profits being made in the R60-billion a year South African short term loan market.

         SA Multiloan another company in the group has 175 short term loan outlets with a turnover of more than R200-million a month. And the Group needs investors because it hasn’t got enough of its own money to keep up with the demand.

       They tell us that the people’s African National Congress Government has allowed credit providers to charge between 30% and 60% on short term unsecured loans.

So the less fortunate are being screwed into the ground for the benefit of the rich.

        Oh! I forgot that’s how our tried and trusted capitalism works.

         In the happy picture is Amelda Coombe, an Oneserv credit provider who claims, From the comfort of my own home I earn a guaranteed 30% per annum on capital invested in my business.

         It didn’t matter that she had no financial knowledge because she was given all the necessary financial training.

         As a financial ignoramus perhaps you can answer this for me Mike?  If a card castle is founded on people in the lower income groups, aren’t they more likely to lose their jobs in an economic downturn than those higher up the ladder?

If this is the case can anybody legitimate say that money put into the building of such a castle is risk free?  And if there is no security for the loans isn’t  this risky with a capital R?

         I’m just asking.

         My last question is this. If this short term loan business makes so much money why isn’t your bank in it so that you can offer everybody 30% instead of that ridiculously low 5.25%?

         Anyway Mike I’m sure you’ll appreciate that I’m only trying to help because the last thing we want is to have our entire banking system struggling to survive because nobody wants to give it any money.

         Of course the worst case scenario would be if there was no money to pay the huge performance bonuses you and the rest of the banking top brass get year after year, regardless of whether or not there has been any performance.

         Yours sincerely,

         Jon, who is too poor to qualify even for a short term loan. 

Buy my book ‘Where have all the children gone?’ on Amazon Kindle  It’s a thriller with an underlying love story that defied generations of Afikaner/English prejudice.      

Standard Bank - What standard?

Dear Jacko Mareee, Chief Executive of Standard Bank,

          I can’t understand how your bank was voted No1 for service in the Banking Category Orange Index Awards, whatever they are, because all I got from this so called champion of service excellence of yours was a LEMON.

          If my experience is the yardstick the Standard you set is nothing to brag about. I’m sure you wouldn’t want it included in those whole page, newspaper advertisements you have been running since you won the Award.

          It’s more important to tell the world how all of us wear takkies on pay day so we can serve you faster. Well the service I got was takkie and it certainly didn’t involve speedy service because I’m still waiting after nearly three years.

          As I’ve already told you I have been trying to get your bank to stop sending vehicle finance statements and threatening letters of demand for Mr X to our address. This has been going on ever since my wife and I moved into our present house.

          The previous owner was not Mr X and from what I could establish he lived here five or six years ago. Yet in spite of the fact that your bank has been told this repeatedly and has promised to rectify the situation on numerous occasions the letters keep coming.

          My concern is that if judgment is taken against him we could have the Sheriff coming to our house to take our possessions. And I’ve heard of scary stories of what can happen if nobody’s at home to correct a mistake when the Sheriff arrives.

          I thought the problem had been finally solved a few months ago when your Western Cape Regional Director, Johan van Wyk undertook via his PA Corinda Strick, to stop the letters being sent to us. How wrong I was because it seems that this is of such mammoth proportions that one of your directors can’t solve it.

   

           

         And it’s even too big for you to handle.         

       


       The statements keep coming. And immediately after I had emailed you things got uglier than ever.     

          The latest is a letter marked URGENT on the one corner. It threatens him with legal action unless he pays the significant overdue amount. It also said that unless he paid adverse information regarding your payment performance will be reported to the National Credit Bureaux and could affect your ability to obtain credit in future.

          Instead of replying to the email I sent to your personal email address the buck was passed to Yasmin Bhoola, your Manager:  Executive & Escalated Complaints, Office of the Chief Executive.  Some title that.

          Yasmin told me in an email that the bank contacted Mr X and established that he is overseas.  She went on to say that according to the National Credit Act the bank couldn’t change the man’s address without his permission. Yet it contacted him????

          She added, We have been advised that he will be back in the country in April and we will then address the issue with him.

          A spokesperson for the National Credit Regulator told me that in the circumstances the Bank was quite entitled to change the man’s address without his permission. So who is right Jacko?

          And if your bank is No 1 for service why has it taken something like three years for it to come up with this excuse for not changing the address?

          Also if efficiency is the buzz word at Standard wouldn’t you want to have an up to date record of the addresses of people who owe you money. This is especially so if they have a vehicle in which your bank has an interest.

          What’s the point in telling Mr X, in your latest threatening letter, that We would like to remind you of your legal obligation to ensure that your asset remains comprehensively insured at all times if the letter is sent to the wrong address and your bank has been repeatedly told about this?

          Also Jacko hasn’t it occurred to anyone in your bank that it is decidedly odd that the gentleman in this case should not bother to tell you of his new address five years or more after he left the one he gave when he had his car financed by you?

          In recent months I have had reason to send complaints to the personal emails addresses of the Big Bosses of  all South Africa’s major banks, Nedbank, Absa, First National and now Standard. And only one of them, Michael Jordaan at FNB had the courtesy and the good public relations savvy to reply directly to me.

          So I thought you would be interested to know that he holds regular night classes for bank chief executives and other top brass in this sector, but so far the attendance has been depressingly poor.

          Yours hopefully,

          Jon, a Consumer Watchdog you can bank on.

PS. If our address gets much more tainted perhaps we should change it and you can go on sending the bank’s threats to an address where the delinquent Mr X will never see them. And that's exactly what you are still doing nearly two months after I first contacted you.

Buy my book 'Where have all the children gone?' on Amazon.com  It's a thriller with an underlying love story that defied generations of prejudice.

Great Absa Credit Card Lotto continued

Dear Maria Ramos, Chief Executive of Absa Bank,

          Sorry to bother you again Maria, but after I wrote to you the explanations I have been getting for your Credit Card Lotto are becoming more bizarre by the minute. If you were still running the railways a crazy system like this would have trains going off the lines all over the place.

          As it is, it’s your bank’s clients who are going off their heads with frustration, not to mention the embarrassment of having their cards rejected when they know they are in good standing financially.

          What I told you last time was that ever since I had been given a new card with a super security chip it gets rejected at shops almost as many times as it is accepted.

          To add to my woes I discovered by chance that when I pay my entire card debt by debit order from my cheque account on the 10^th of every month it is only reflected on my card three working days later. And during this period my card is blocked so I can’t use it.

          You were evidently too busy to answer my questions yourself so you put Wouter de Vos, the head of your Card Operation on to me.

          He explained that it was decided to put the three day hold on cards when payments were made by debit order or cheques because the payments had been made available without the money being cleared.

          Excuse my ignorance but how can debit orders and cheques be put in the same clearance category?  I appreciate that cheques might take a day or two to clear but surely debit orders go through instantly unless your bank is still using that computer model that Bill Gates perfected when he was in kindergarten.

       Here’s the real double Dutch from Wouter, Maria, We are supplying the correct information to the customer – payment is not cleared yet, even though it reflects as a payment on your credit card account.

          From my experience the customer has to be a mind reader to anticipate this because nobody tells him.

          The system, he said prevented fraud and reduced the risk of over indebting the customers. We’ve got nanny banks now because us stupid customers can’t stop getting into debt without the bank’s help. And of course preventing fraud comes way ahead of ensuring peace of mind for the honest clients who are in the majority by far.

          To confuse the situation even more he added, When the debit order is less that R5 000 the amount will be available immediately and I could phone the call centre to have my debit order hold lifted each month as my amounts were over this R5 000.

          If this was the case I asked him why couldn’t I have the block on my card lifted permanently as my credit limit was way above the amount I spent each month.

          Wouter then revealed that it was your humpty-dumpty system that was at fault because it can’t automatically pick up that the amount is available on the cheque account. They had asked your System Division to look into this to service our customers in a more efficient way. He added this encouraging note; Unfortunately we can’t confirm that it will be changed in the future.

          I suppose as you might have said when you were on the railways, That’s just hard lines for you Jonnie boy.

          The bumbling continued when I wanted an explanation as to what was the point of having a credit limit much higher than what I owed if my card was still put on hold. He said that after my last payment I had only used about a quarter of my credit limit leaving the balance available for use. In spite of that when I tried to use my card on the 11^th it was rejected.

          His excuse: We had a few system problems causing transactions not be approved. That’s rubbish because it’s not the first time this has happened to me unless of course your system hasn’t been oiled for years.

          He told me that if my card was rejected and I knew there was enough credit available I should insist that the merchant phones for an authorization. Perhaps he would like to try this with me at a till on a busy day at Pick n Pay. We’d both be lynched by the angry mob waiting in the queue.

          When I asked how much your bank made in interest in the last year while it held money in this no man’s land between accounts he said interest was paid, Where the account was in credit at the time of the debit order. Ha, ha, ha pull the other one Wouter. In any case according to my statement you are current paying the grand sum of 0.20% on credit balances.

          After the launch of the chip card in 2009 certain retailers were having a problem accepting these,  Wouter went on. We are having discussions with the Card Associations (MasterCard and Visa) to address this matter urgently.

          What! nearly two years after the launch? That’s a new definition for urgent.

          Absa’s attempt at delivering exceptional service has indeed been damaged, Wouter conceded.

          He can say that again, Maria. But don’t you think it was pretty elementary to first ensure that the merchants had the necessary equipment to process the new chip card before it was introduce.
          And even once this huge blunder had been made why was it kept under wraps?
Good customer relations would have ensured that all your card holders would have been told of the problem before they stomped and raged at shop keepers for rejecting their cards when they knew they had sufficient funds.

         

          Your Consumer Watchdog,

          Jon

PS. I’m afraid you lost Brownie points Maria by not initially answering the email I sent to you personally. You need to take lessons on top notch public relations from Michael Jordaan, the CEO of your rival bank, First National. He answers his emails almost immediately.

The Great Absa Credit Card Lotto

Dear Maria Ramos, Chief Executive of Absa Bank,

          Having once worked on the railways perhaps you can get your bank back on track over this one. If my experience is anything to go by every Absa credit card holder who pays his account by debit order has a period of three or four days (It’s as vague as that) in each month when his card is useless.      

 My debit order for everything I owe goes through on the 10^th of the month. The money disappears from my account but it is only reflected on my credit card a few days later.

           So while your bank is happily using my money my card is put on hold and it doesn’t matter if my credit limit is way above the amount I have just paid.

          It’s a scandal which your bank has so far done nothing  to remedy. It’s made worse by the fact that clients only find out about this after having their card declined at a shop. They are never told beforehand. 

          But for those who don't like to gamble that's not the only problem with these cards.

          I’ve had my chip. Ever since you sent me a new card with this super chip in it buying stuff with it is a nightmare. Previously my old card, which was issued in the ox-wagon age, gave me no trouble.

          They put it in the machine, I signed the slip sometimes and on other occasions nobody bothered about this formality. That’s what happens when you’ve got an honest face and good diction.

          The really important aspect was that it worked. I could pay for anything anywhere, provided of course my credit was in good standing which it always was.

           Now that the crooks have once again got a jump ahead you have forced these chips on us. This new wonder of technology not only prevents the bogy men from using my card, but it also keeps me from recklessly running up debt as well. Was that part of the master plan?

           Will it feel like working or is it having one of those days? I am constantly asking myself.

          I travel miles to buy something particular and what happens? My card goes into the machine and out pops a slip saying Please call auth centre at the top and at the bottom in capital letters it issues this warning DO NOT GIVE THE GOODS!   Will the updated ones perhaps say, Do not give the goods to this crook? On another occasion the message at the bottom was, Declined.

          Of course there is no way of telling which permutation has caused the problem when a shop keeper eyes me suspiciously. So with wonder card I still have to carry enough cash for all eventualities just in case I lose in this Absa lotto of yours. 

          Your staff told me that ignorant merchants are to blame for not processing the cards properly. If you want a really ridiculous explanation try, as I did, calling the help line at your card division.

          Having just had my card rejected for R84 at Pennypinchers I stomped into the bank and they got one of those cards at card division on the line. She explained that Pennypinchers needed to increase its authorization limit.

           But when I went back to this hardware store I was told this was the biggest load of bull they had ever heard. If their limit meant they had to get authorization for purchases as low as R84 they would be phoning card division every five minutes.

          So you badly need to issue a more plausible story for the call centre staff to use when all the other Jons come on the line. And how about getting all the merchants up to speed on how to process the thing properly? I would gladly try and teach them but I am now persona non grata everywhere.
          My impeccable reputation for being a fine upstanding citizen of considerable means has been shot to pieces.

          When I had to go into shops I pulled my mask over my face because I fully expect to see posters up around town with my mug on them saying, WANTED FOR CARD FRAUD He’s had his chips.

       Scared I’m now in hiding, heavily sedated and oh! I nearly forgot my wife left me because she says she only married me for my card.

How much money do you think a High Court judge would put on the loss of a reputation as valuable as mine????? 

          Deplorably yours,

            Jon

PS. This could be in the running for the worst of my Bad Service Awards of the month.

*   *   *

  Hallo Bic? Shouldn’t you rather stick to what you know best and that’s pens. Can you tell me the thinking behind your Big Easy razor? The pack contains a razor with a dummy plastic “blade” in it together with two razor holders with space for eight blades but two of these are empty.

             Then you tell us on the back of the pack that this first, all in one shaver is such a marvelous first that if you want more blades you have to buy another entire pack with a handle you don’t need.

            So if sales go as well as you are no doubt hoping we can expect our planet to be littered with thousands of unwanted plastic handles.

I suppose if they are the right colour you can claim to be Greening the World.