Loafing at the Sunday Times

Dear Ray Hartley, Editor of the Sunday Times,
          When I first heard about it I thought there couldn’t be a grain of truth in the story. Somebody must be chaffing. But it was true. To try and boost circulation you were advertised a free loaf of bread with every paper bought. You forgot to include the butter and it was still billed as a Special Offer.          
          Thanks for excluding us loyal subscribers. Are we expected to starve now that you’ve got us on the hook?
           It’s a novel way to boost circulation I’ll give you that. Were you aiming at those A & B income group readers who are now on the breadline? Or were you trying to get the very poor or those union members who are loafing at home on another holiday strike interested in buying that Paper for the People?
           The way prices are escalating a loaf of bread costs almost as much as the R15 for the S. Times. So wouldn’t it be more of an enticement to just cut the price of the paper instead of casting crumbs before the populace (Oops I nearly said ….). That way you could get people to buy the paper instead of their daily bread. As you know apart from being a great read it has all kinds of other uses like getting the fire going and so on. You’re still struggling I see to perfect one that can be eaten and still has some nourishment. 
          I must say it brightens up lives by giving people, particularly the down and outs, something to dream about and get their minds off mundane things like bread.  For instance the Sundays Times Good Times advertisement says you can Enjoy an evening of award-winning brandies for a mere R295 per person. This includes five courses, the brandies and a KWV goodie bag.
          I see readers mustn’t get the idea they can drown their sorrows about living in a tin hut where a shack fire might take it any day because the drinks are for your account after the first few dops that you give away just to get revelers in the right spirit.

          Unfortunately the one big drawback of these Good Times is that, sorry man, you can’t afford to give a free loaf of bread to people when they book.  It’s only when they buy the paper that you sponsor that luxury.
          Yours truly
          That loafer
           Jon