For those who have the same warped sense of humour this Letter can also be had in French.
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Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Britain's Madness- bumbling cop to star in new Pink Panther film
Dear People of Britain,
How can you possibly allow this kind
of thing to happen? Has the old country now got the worst case of Mad Brits
disease that it has had in the many centuries of its existence?
Talk about getting soft in the head,
this latest madness takes the Queen’s Police Medal for Distinguished Service by
a long way.
A Policewoman, who you would have thought had a duty to
proud, is busy turning the entire country into an April 1st joke.
And what makes it even worse is that
her Police bosses are standing idly
by evidently powerless to stop this cancer in their midst.
Petrol station owner Steve Jones
called the Police one night after his burglar alarm went off. And along came
the Norfolk Constabulary’s
of The Pink
Playing the part magnificently,
Kelly Jones, 33, tripped over the
roadside curb as she came to investigate.
Of course it couldn’t possibly have
been her fault so she has hired a top London
lawyer and is suing poor old Steve for 50 000 pounds.
She claims she injured a leg and wrist in the fall and that Steve
was negligent because he did not have sufficient lighting or warning signs and
exposed her to an unnecessary risk ofinjury.
The Mail on Line reported thatSteve
said, I thought
nothing of it, other than she must have been a bit embarrassed. I helped her up
and she continued to search the premises for an intruder.
am incredulous that I am being sued by a Police officer whose duty it is to
protect the public, he
added. How can
anyone feel safe calling the cops if theysize you up for compensation
while they’re fighting crime?
If this mother of two has made a laughing stock of Britain’s
entire Police Force she has been ably abetted by her Chief Constable Phil Gormley, now
Steve & dangerous curb
His pathetic, wishy washy response was that
the public’s trust in the Police and he did not support her action.
The lady was conveniently on sick
leave over what was said to be an unrelated problem.
But as soon as Gormless Phil heard about what had
happened he should have immediately ordered PC Jones to apologise in writing
to Steve and the Chief should
have added his own apology on behalf of the Norfolk Constabulary as a whole.
My sources now tell me that the lady
cop doesn’t have to worry about whether or not she will get any money out of Steve
because she is heading for the big time. She has fallen, this time with her bum
in the butter.
She is to be asked to star in a new Pink Panther series that will have her
as the female Inspector Clouseau.
the popular series the incompetent
Inspector played mainly by Peter
Sellers did things like falling down stairs while trying to interview a witness
to a crime and accidentally shooting another cop in the backside.
So you can understand how ideal PC Jones is for the part,
especially as she has already got such widespread publicity for her new role.
Have fun watching the show although you
must all be cringing at the way one scruffy Police woman
has ensured that the word Great will never ever be associatedwith Britain again.