Thursday, January 24, 2013

World Scoop:What President Zuma whispered to the Blonde

Dear Readers,
Dressed to kill
         This is a world scoop? My sources have just revealed what the Media hasn’t even touched upon. Is this what you are not supposed to know?
         It’s what President Zuma, South Africa’s Number One ladies man, who has four wives, whispered to blonde bombshell Bronwyn Nielsen.       
         Today the business section of the Johannesburg based The Times carried this picture headed, Passing Comment: President Jacob Zuma whispers to CNBC Africa presenter Bronwyn Nielsen at the annual meeting of the World Economic Forum in Davos yesterday.



        
Funny Business?
           As you can see the photographer caught this touching moment brilliantly and many of you would surely have wanted to know what he whispered that was so hush, hush.
         Was it business as usually or something more important?  Hopefully I won’t be breaking any state secrecy laws if I now reveal what he said.











         Yours faithfully,
         Jon, who believes in telling you what you are not supposed to know.
         

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Mulholland's Gay Bashing & the Catholic Church


Dear Steve Mulholland,
         I see your This is the business column in the Sunday Times has now become a family advice bureau aimed specifically at gay parents and the promotion of the Catholic ideology.
Of course they should tell their children that their relationship is neither the norm nor ultimately desirable.
         But would this sound advice help little Johnnie when it comes to explaining to his class mates that he has two fathers or mothers when everybody else has one?
         What advice do you have for mixed parents, one White and one Black? Should they tell their children how unnatural this is?
         These kinds of permutations are endless.
         You have certainly stirred up the gay lobby. You tried to make your point as tactfully as possible, but when you mentioned you were Catholic you opened a much bigger can of gays.
         As you said the US is gradually recognising gay marriages notwithstanding the powerful opposition of the Catholic Church.
         That’s hypocrisy with a capital P. Your church has never recognised marriage of any kind within its priesthood.

Kissing men evidently has your blessing Your Holiness
         Perhaps in your next column you could tell Pope Benedict XVI that what so many of his priests get up to is neither the norm nor ultimately desirable.
         By not allowing priests or Fathers as they are affectionate called to marry your church has produced thousands of hot house gays.
         These undesirables have gained the confidence of communities in the name of God, with the full backing of the Catholic Church that has stood idly by when children’s lives have been ruined for ever. Choir boys have their backs to the wall in churches everywhere.
         And those priests who want a bit of variety have taken their Father title too literally with choir girls and even mothers in their flock.
         This is the business in your church that has been so lax in doing something about it. It has certainly ensured that we now all know the meaning of Cardinal Sin.

A kiss to build a marriage on
         The preservation of the species suggests that instructing children that same-sex matrimony is the same as that of heterosexuals flies in the face of reason, you told us.
         What possible reason could there be for continuing to insist that priests and nuns remain celibate, especially as the Roman (or is it Roamin?) Catholic Church is the largest Christian Church in the world with more than a billion members.
         Isn’t that contrary to the natural law, which is the reason the one true church founded by Jesus Christ gives for its anti-gay stance. This is even more peculiar when one thinks of what a bad name this policy has consistently given the church.  
         Your recent column raises two journalistic issues. Should a columnist  use the space allocated to him to push the views of his own religion? And secondly what are you doing knocking gays in the Business Section of the Sunday Times?
         Surely you were expected to write about business, not anything that comes to mind.
         The Sunday Times has psychologist Judith Ancer, who writes a column every week telling us how to treat our children. So did it need another one in the Business Section?
         I have complained before that the really queer business is that the paper gives its columnists mandates, but doesn’t make them stick to them.
         Regards,
         Jon, who always bends over to please everybody.
P.S. Steve when you are next in Rome can you ask His Holiness if, when giving a Papal Kiss, you should stick your tougue out or keep it in?