TWO CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY IN A MILLION

 Dear Readers and Bishops' Old Boys,

Richard Brasher

          Richard Brasher, who has just retired from Pick n Pay after eight years as CEO of this 1945 store grocery chain never ceased to amaze me.

          He doesn’t know me from Adam, yet when I sent him an email to his personal email address on a Saturday this year at 02.07 pm he replied less than half an hour later at 02.30.

          I asked him to pass on the following email to Raymond Ackerman as I did not have an email address for him. It went like this:

Dear Raymond,

Congratulations on your 90^th. I presume you are going for your century. Thanks again for the attached. It brought back good memories of somebody like you who could fit my little triumph into your busy schedule. Well done for making your 100^th – in anticipation.

Raymond Ackerman & his wife Wendy

Yvonne Cummins, who I assume is his PA, replied: “Mr Ackerman sends his sincere thanks for the birthday wishes sent to him via Richard Brasher. He really appreciates you thinking of him and he had a very special 90^th”

        

           The attached I referred to was this letter (those were the days when the postal service worked) he sent me in 1974 congratulating me on being the runner up in the Stellenbosch Farmers' Wineries' National Award for Enterprising Journalism for my series in the Business Section of the Sunday Times about crooked business. "This was a first-class effort and I think you can deserve all the congratulations you can get for your forthright reporting," Raymond wrote.

          I would never have thought that he would have been following my career like this. Alright we did go to school together at Bishops in Cape Town where we were borders in School House, but he was three years ahead of me. And that’s a life time at school. I can only assume he read about it in the paper.

          In 2017 in my role as a Consumer Watchdog on my blog I was trying to get a promised refund of R320.50 for our daughter Mandy from Aramex Couriers that has drop boxes in Pick n Pay branches, but all I got was the same run around as she was given. In desperation I sent an email to Richard asking him if he could get somebody to sort this out. The following day on the 25th working day after Mandy had been promised payment within 7-14 days I got the proof from Aramex that she had been paid.

          I then asked Richard: “Was this your magic? Just after my email to you R320.50 was paid into our daughter’s account. Thanks a lot.”

          He replied: “We are always happy to help.”

          My email to him was sent at 07.30 am and he replied at 09.39 from his iPhone the same day. How’s that for top notch service.

          After buying four stores in Cape Town trading as Pick n Pay in 1966 Raymond built them into one of Africa’s largest supermarket chains. He was Chairman until 2010 when he stepped down in favour of his son Gareth.

          I evidently didn’t pay as much attention as Raymond when I was at Bishops or I just didn't have what it takes upstairs.  

           My career was as a journalist on various papers including the Sunday Times where I did investigations and also wrote a hard hitting weekly column Business is Business for two years. My newspaper days ended when I became a self employed private eye specialising in life insurance.

          At a function at my old school to mark the 60^th anniversary of my year a former master who was organising it said to me: “I couldn’t find anything about your matric.” He had evidently researched the school records of those who attended.

          On another occasion my wife and I went to a lunch for Old Boys like me at the school and on the wall inside the building where the function took place there was a list of Bishop’s Rhodes Scholars. I had a job finding it and at one stage I said to my wife "Was my Dad making this up?"

But sure enough there it was: the 1921 Bishop's Rhodes Scholar - Cecil Willoughby Abbott, who went up to Oxford I think.

It must have been rather embarrassing for him having his first born at this very expensive school where he had done so brilliantly plug his matric. Putting the shot and throwing the javelin to provincial standards was no compensation. This might explain why I never became a millionaire like Raymond.

Regards to you all and here’s hoping you can keep Virus free,

Jon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE SPCA IS ENDANGERING THE JOBS OF 50 PEOPLE BY MONKEYING AROUND WITH BABOON MATTERS

 Dear Baboon Lovers,

            About 10 years ago baboons from mountainous areas rampaged through residential parts of the City of Cape Town, threatening people, damaging houses, badly injuring pets like dogs and destroying anything edible in people’s gardens.

People were prisoners in their own homes until the monitors, employed to keep them out of the urban areas were armed with paintball guns – not to shoot them, but just to scare them away. This worked very effectively and where I live near Kommetjie the situation went from having baboons all over our houses and gardens on a regular basis to virtually none at all. My wife even had the pleasure of twice having a big male beside her in our kitchen. Their canines are longer than a lion’s so she could have been badly mauled.

          Now the goody goods at the Cape of Good Hope SPCA, who appear to have great difficulty defining exactly what cruelty is, have decided that these paintball guns that they originally sanctioned are actually cruel. This has made the work of the monitors, who are employed by a private company contracted to the City Council, totally ineffective. Without the paintball guns to scare these primates they just give the monitors the two fingers and carry on raiding homes and gardens just as they used to do.

          A spokesperson told me that unfortunately the City had no choice but to comply with this decision, as the National Council for the Societies for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, being the oversight authority for animal welfare, had withdrawn its support for the use of paintball guns on baboons, declaring this method “cruel to animals.”

           Helpfully Belinda Abraham, the Communications Manager of the Cape of Good Hope SPSA “clarified” the position by saying that the SPCA has not “banned or prohibited the use of paintball guns” but had merely withdrawn their endorsement of their use.  

          To show how mixed up the SPCA is about the use of these guns she added: “A method that was reviewed and supported previously may no longer be relevant, appropriate or humane now. The SPCA will not support methods that are considered inhumane and cruel or that have insufficient supporting information.”

          How many other inhumane methods of controlling animals has the SPCA supported or ignored for years before backtracking?

          The SPCA believes “there may be alternative methods” of dealing with the baboons that “can be used to achieve the same outcome, which have not been explored.” But as it does not disclose what these might be the inference is that if they do exist the SPCA has no idea what they are.

          However Ald. Marion Nieuwoudt Cape Town’s Mayoral Committee Member for the Environment told me that as there was no effective alternative to the use of paintball guns they might have to withdraw the baboon monitors. “This will have an impact on the properties and lifestyle of residents living in areas close to baboons’ natural habitat as we anticipate that baboons will frequent these areas more often,” she said.

          Will this mean that some 50 or more people will be added to the already huge number of unemployed in our country?  People’s Lives Matter more than baboons but not in Cape Town evidently.

          The various parties will hopefully meet soon to sort out this mess that is entirely due to the SPCA’s incompetence.

          The mixed up thinking at the SPCA is not doing the baboons any favours either. Their numbers have increased from 350 in 2009 to 430 in 2021, but the way things are going they could soon be on the decline.

Jenni Trethoven, founder of the Baboon Matters Trust revealed on the Trust’s blog that when the Covid lock down began in March last year she was optimistic that there would be a radical decrees in baboon activity in urban areas, but the reverse happened.

No doubt because the baboon monitors were not working at all during lockdown or at a much lower level and baboon troops had not yet heard of the Virus.

Baboons, she wrote, have been visiting the village of Kommetjie where she lives almost every day since then and “sadly incidents of shooting at baboons with pellet guns, shotguns and paintball guns increased as did the number of dog attacks on baboons.”

Dogs attack baboons at their peril. Male baboons have ripped even the most ferocious ones apart causing thousands of rand in vet bills for the owners of those that survived.

In May a baboon belonging to the Simonstown troop was shot dead by a pellet gun and that was believed to be as a result of the withdrawal of the monitors. 

So the evidence is abundantly clear that what the SPCA is doing by classifying paintball guns in this case as cruel is having an affect that is the opposite of what the Society stands for. And is it going to compensate residents for any damage done by the bad behaviour of baboons?

In the short time since the monitors have been rendered ineffective a dog on our estate near Kommetjie has been badly mauled by baboons resulting in a heavy vet bill for the own. How many more times will this sort of thing have to happen before the monitors are once more empowered to do their job effectively?

Regards,

Jon, a lover of baboons that know their place – in the wild not in our garden or our house.

P.S. Baboon lovers expect people like me and my wife to have desert gardens so there is nothing like vegetables, fruit trees or anything else that might attract them, bearing in mind that they eat just about everything and seldom come in just ones and twos. Bird feeders are also out because they eat seed as well and they will rip apart anything it might be in. Our little dog would have to be kept inside at all times especially when we are not at home and every opening window would have to have bars on it. Our house would also have to have reinforced gutters that don’t collapse when baboons swing on them. If the SPCA has its way this is what it will be like for a lot of us living in the City of Good Hope? We’ve had some experience of this before the advent of paintball guns and WE CERTAINLY DON’T WANT IT REPEATED.

P.P.S. Ironically while this baboon business was going on the City has been updating its animal-keeping bylaws to ensure that pets like dogs, cats etc are not a source of danger or a nuisance.

         

 

ROLL UP, ROLL UP, TO SUNNY SOUTH AFRICA WHERE IT'S OPEN SEASON FOR MURDERERS & RAPISTS

Tina Joemat-Petterson

 Dear Readers,
          If you or any of your relatives ever get murdered or raped in South Africa don’t expect the perpetrators to get convicted any time soon, if at all.  The DNA testing backlog is increasing at such an alarming rate that there seems no hope of our *Keystone SA Cops (SAPS) ever getting anywhere near catching up.

          Thousand of criminals of all kinds are laughing at a system that can’t produce enough DNA evidence to convict them. The backlog at the National Forensic Science labs has just jumped from 117 000 cases in December to a shocking 173 000. According to Brig.Vish Naude the National Police spokesperson, about 70% of these numbers involve rape with murder accounting for a high proportion of the remaining 30%.

          No wonder the USA has issued a travel warning to its citizens that South Africa is no place for a holiday if you and your family hope to return in one piece.

          However scary the figures are we don’t have to worry too much because the problem is in the good hands of Tina Joemat- Petterson.  She became Chairperson of the Government’s Portfolio Committee on Police in 2019 based no doubt on her reputation for honesty and an unblemished record as Minister of Agriculture and Fisheries (2009-2014) and then Minister of Minerals and Energy (2014 -2017).

          You could not possibly have a person with dubious skeletons in their cupboard heading this important Police Committee could you? 

          But like many of the African National Congress’ (ANC) recycled ministers Tina’s history in these top jobs is picturesque to say the least. While in charge of Agriculture she famously said: “You can’t have mud slinging in agriculture.” Unfortunately it seems she was wrong and some of the mud stuck on her.

          As a result of complaints from the opposition Democratic Alliance party the Public Protector twice found her guilty in 2012 and 2014 of recklessly dealing with state funds and services resulting in wasteful expenditure in the fishing industry and not using public funds reasonably when it came to her accommodation expenses.

          What more could you want as a reference for somebody to head the Committee on Police? Cyril you must be so proud of this choice or is he perhaps ‘shocked’ as usual.

          While she was the Minister of Energy the mud slinging continued and a mere 10-million barrels of the country’s emergency oil reserves mysteriously disappeared. This time the Public Protector found that this former school teacher was mislead by the former boss of the Strategic Fuel Fund Association. I could not establish what happened after that, but who cares it’s only more taxpayers money down the drain.

           This was so typical of the ANC to expect a Minister, who got mucky in Agriculture to suddenly be an expert in the Energy field that is rife with big time, international crooks.

          To emphasise the state our police forensics are in the SAPS has just put an advertisement in the jobs section of the Sunday Times for no less than 133 Forensic Warrant officers (salary R304 851 per annum) to be stationed in various parts of the country working in labs or doing other aspects of forensics.

          Is this what Tina meant when she said the National Forensic Oversight Board (NFOB), which clearly has been doing a great job up to now, must find solutions to the long standing backlogs problem.

          Our Minister with the Hat Bheke Cele, who heads the Police, evidently believes that giving more cushy jobs to the boys, or girls, will solve the problem. He recently appointed 10 members to the NFOB Board. He sure knows how to pick them. Benedicta Monama was made a board member in spite of her dodgy background in other government departments only to be removed by Bheke for non attendance of more than three consecutive meetings.

          Presumably if she had had the sense to miss just two or perhaps three, but not consecutively, she would be still there. 

How many of them know anything at all about forensics is anybody’s guess. As long as they fit the description of cadre employees that is all that matters.

Regards,

Jon, an Investigative Journalist and Forensic Expert of note.

P.S. Have you heard the story about the best part of re-cycling? It’s when you are going down hill on your way home. In the ANC’s case it is no joke.

 

*The Keystone Cops were humorous, incompetent policemen featured in silent film, slapstick comedies. One of the stars was my namesake Bud Abbott. When can we expect to see our President Cyril Ramaphosa featured in a similar film with our Keystone Cops? It would take our minds off the mess he and his ANC have made of running our country more effectively than changing the names of towns and streets.

         

         

         

         

         

ROUGHEST SILK IN THE LAND - DALI MPOFU THE BLACK SENIOR ADVOCATE TELLS FEMALE WHITE ONE TO 'SHUT UP'

Dear Readers, 

    Is Deputy Chief Justice Raymond Zondo too nice a guy to be in that snapping advocates pool that forms such a major part of the State Capture Commission that he is heading? 

    Here’s an example of how the farcical side of it works: I give evidence about you which you don’t like. Weeks or months later your advocate is allowed to cross examine me about what I said about you. That can go on for almost as long as it took me to give my evidence in the first place. 

    Various statements as well as Judge Zondo’s comments that have been made along the way are repeated ad nauseam. Eventually my advocate is allowed to re-examine me to clarify and perhaps correct what your advocate said about me. This second stage of the farce can go on for half a day or more with the main characters earning huge sums, making it very much in their interests to extend their arguments as long as possible, so ones that tell colleagues to ‘Shut up’ clearly do not have the system at heart.

Whoever said ‘the law is an ass’ was spot on. 

The characters in the now famous ‘Shut up’ wake up moment at the Commission’s hearing were:

    Dali Mpofu (59): He is an advocate, who as an ANC member was CEO of the SABC for four years where he did such a brilliant job that he was rewarded by being give an 18 month holiday – suspension on full pay. In 2009 he ended his association with the controversy plagued national broadcaster with another even more impressive ‘thank you’ for his good work - a R12-million golden handshake. In 2014 he left the African National Congress party and joined Julius Malema’s Economic Freedom Fighters where he was this party’s Chairperson for a while. Rumour has it that it was under Malema’s tutelage that he learned his good manners. 

    Michelle le Roux: She is the advocate lady Gentleman Dali told to ‘Shut up’ when she was representing Pavin Gordhan, the Minister of Public Enterprises. Her background is without any blemishes like being suspended from her job and being a member of a pock marked political party. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Cape Town’s Law School and was named as one of Who’s Who’s Notable Women among Legal Competition Professionals in Europe, the America’s and Africa who are in their forties. She is also a Global Competition Review Litigator of the Year (Non-cartel) winner, SO WHO SHOULD DEFINITELY BE TOLD TO ‘SHUT UP’? 

    They need a naughty corner for advocates like Dali where they can be sent for a week or two. SC's earn around R50 000 a day so that might encourage the foul mouthed to to keep their traps shut. Fortunately 'Shut up' and similar outbursts are a rarity among advocates. If they weren't our courts would make for far more entertaining TV viewing than they do  now.

You be the judge, 

Regards, Jon, a Manners Judge of long standing, although I am not sure that my mother would agree with this if she was still around.

P.S. The Sunday Times put into words what everyone else was thinking:

JOBS ADVERTISEMENTS TELL A STORY OF A BLOATED INCOMPETENT GOVERNMENT WITH A SHADY SIDE

 Dear Readers,

William Hlakoane

          I get the Johannesburg based Sunday Times every week and it is noticeable in pages and pages of expensive career ads that the private sector, which is supposed to be the driving force behind South Africa’s economic recovery hardly features at all. They are mostly for positions in local and provincial government and state owned enterprises, where just about everyone seems to be a director or deputy director.

          The most recent one that I came across that turned out to be extremely dubious was for a Group Chief Executive Officer for Denel our government owned arms manufacturer that has virtually imploded with the help of the Guptas, as it is struggling to pay its staff.  The half page ad which cost around R100 000 appeared on Sunday February 21 with a closing date of 5 March.

First thing the following morning the Board headed by Monhla Hlahla announced that William Hlakoane, the current Chief Operating Officer had been appointed acting CEO for six months. Does she think that will be long enough to turn Denel around? Clearly he must have been the chosen one before the ad even appeared, so how legitimate is his appointment. Is it another jobs for the boys appointment? Don’t these, particularly high powered ones like this that involve a salary of several million a year, have to be properly advertised before someone is named?

The Board is still looking for a permanent head. Hlakoane, who replaced the interim CEO Talib Sadik whose contract expired, is the 9^th CEO or acting CEO since the ANC came to power in 1994. Sadik was the CEO some years ago.  To add to Denel’s problems 4 directors resigned in the last couple of months making things rather lonely for Hlahla, the former Airports Company of SA Chief Executive who became chairperson of the Denel Board in 2018. Airports to a high tech arms company is a very incongruous move. 

It’s seems it’s more important to waste a huge amount of money on an ad that was clearly place for show when a decision had already been made, than paying staff.  What the hell it’s only tax payer’s money so who cares.

Monhla Hlahla

Among the 12 Qualification and Experience Requirements in this Denel ad was: “Proven experience and exhibition of achievement in Business Turnaround Strategy Implementation” I find it difficult to believe that Hlakoane complied with this or some of the other ones on the list. 

          Another smelly ad was from the tiny municipality of Nkandla, a name made notorious by its high profile resident our former President Jacob Zuma. While in office he quite illegitimately had his homestead there upgraded with R246-million of our money.

          Although the municipality is surprisingly now controlled by the Inkatha Freedom Party,  as opposed to Zuma’s ruling African National Congress, it is following, in its small way, Zuma’s example of how to squander public funds.

          It’s ad for a General Worker at a salary of R9000 a month cost R10 520 for one insertion in the paper. It made no sense to spend this amount to place this in a national paper when there must be any number of people in Nkandla capable of making the tea and doing the cleaning and the job was for somebody at the bottom of the employment ladder.

          The ads also paint a dismal picture of municipalities and even provincial Governments like Mpumalanga that are still in the dark ages. Their job applications can only be submitted by post and with our broken postal service there must be a huge number of positions that remain vacant before any applications arrive. The last time I was sent a letter by post I got it three months later.

           The comical gobbledygook job descriptions for some of the highly paid jobs explain completely why our local government is in such a mess with numerous municipalities and the like under administration. For instance the Chris Hani District Municipality in the Eastern Cape wants a Director, Health and Community Services (5 year fixed performance contract, salary negotiable).

The following Competences are required:

·      Critical competences that drive the strategic intent and direction.

·      Core competences that drive the execution of critical competences.

·      Working in a team to advise Council & Committees.

          If this is what the ‘team’ produces heaven help the people in that area who rely on this humpty dumpty organisation. No faxed or emailed applications will be accepted. They had to send them to a Private Bag address or hand delivered them.       

          In a whole page ad that probably cost about half a million the Mpumalanga Provincial Government called for applications for 46 posts that included 3 Directors (R1 057 326 p.a.), 4 Deputy Directors (R733 257 p.a.), 4 Assistance Directors (R376 596 p.a.) and 16 cleaners at R102 234 p.a each. Helpfully would be career cleaners were told that the requirements included “Ability to work under pressure and to remain focused towards productivity” and a “Basic knowledge on utilization of cleaning equipment will be an added advantage.”

          Among the requirements for the Directors  was “Honesty and integrity.” They don’t seem to know that both words mean the same thing. This is evidently not necessary for anybody below the rank of Director because it doesn’t get mentioned again when HONESTY should be the number one requirement for anybody joining the public service. No wonder there are so many who don’t seem to have heard of it.

          The various departments have such little confidence in their abilities to pick the right person for the job that all the top salary earners are employed on 5 year contracts.  Is this the Government’s way of preventing top officials from remaining on suspension forever on huge salaries? Mind you even five years could cost the fiscus a fortune.

          The Employment Equity Act seems to be causing a great deal of confusion. Here are some interpretations.

          Magalies Water ad for a Chief Operations Office and Payroll Manager: “Preference will be given to African females, Coloured, Indians, White males and people living with disabilities.”

          City of Johannesburg ad for Group Human Capital Management: “This is an employment equity targeted position and preference will be given to African males, White males and African females and White females, including people with disabilities."

          National Gambling Board ad for a Researcher and a Legal and Stakeholder Engagement Intern at salaries of R12 000 a year – not much more than cleaners get: “In terms of the Employment Equity preference will be given to Coloureds, Indians, Whites and people with disabilities.”

          Nyandeni Local Municipality, Eastern Cape ad for a Senior Manager: Infrastructure Development: “Females, Coloureds, Indians, Whites and People with disabilities are encouraged to apply.”

          Most stated they abide by the Employment Equity act or did not comment on it at all.

 Regards,

Jon, a Consumer Watchdog and Poor Man’s Press Ombudsman.

 P.S. Anybody who still believes that apartheid is dead does not live in South Africa. When are we going to grow up enough to be able to employ the best person for the job regardless of their colour?

 

 

             

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A COVID LEPER

 Dear Readers,

Sally Witherden is our 53 year old daughter, who lives in Johannesburg and this is her Covid story in her own words.

I recently became a proud grandmother, but before I saw my little grandchild for the first time, I thought it a good idea to get tested for Covid.  My results came back negative and I was delighted to meet Callum when he was 3 days old.  Having hardly seen my daughter during this terrible time it was great for the family and to spend some time together, although still adhering to social distancing, wearing of masks etc.  But still the best thing to come out of 2020!       

The following week to my horror, my team members at work were advised that they had recently been exposed to someone with Covid (although I had not been at the office) but due to company policy we all had to be tested, including myself. I was very reluctant as the previous Thursday had tested negative! Imagine my surprise when my results came back positive, “What the hell” and I was the only one!  I had been at the doctor and a local hospital for an unrelated issue earlier in the week, so did I get it in the office, or had I picked this up at the doctor that week?  It seemed impossible because I constantly wash my hands, sanitise and wear a mask, in fact was very diligent - almost obsessive, “There was no way I was going to get Covid” and especially not now that I wanted to see my little Callum.

I also had no symptoms at all – nothing!  I was advised to just self-isolate at home because I was feeling well enough and I am in the very fortunate situation in that I could go to my weekend house at the Vaal, to be away from anyone and to not pass the virus on to the other people in my home, who had tested negative.  I have to admit I was in total denial that I actually had the virus – how could I test negative one week and then positive the next and no-one I had been in contact with had tested positive, and I had no symptoms at all, it must have been a mistake.

The day I tested it might have been day 4 already, depending where I picked up this stealth virus.  By day 6 I started feeling mild symptoms – headaches, aching legs and muscles, slight temperature, confusion and mainly very tired, no energy and slept solidly for the next 3 days.  Thereafter although still tired started to improve day by day and feeling like my old self, I was very relieved to have only had very “mild symptoms” and this is what you hear from many people who have had this virus – “I was lucky”, “I pulled through easily with very few symptoms” etc. etc.   However, do not think for one minute that once the 10-day quarantine is over your symptoms suddenly disappear.  Not at all, I started feeling other symptoms after I was deemed not contagious, my breathing was labored and was not 100% for about a week, I still get headaches now and then, often feel tired and cannot do any strenuous exercise and when I am tired I get easily confused.  As long as you have symptoms your mind plays games with you, and no it’s not old age - a simple tummy bug and you think you have Covid again!

What you do not hear from mild Covid sufferers is the absolute terror that rips through your sole when you see “Positive” on your results, especially if you are older and your doctor advises you to please not to ignore it.  It plays on your mind every day for the next 10 days, while you are “contagious”, that you have a killer virus taking over your body and you have NO control, you take the advised medication, rest and hope and pray that you will be able to say – “I had a very mild version” all the while waiting for it to get worse and the relief is unbelievable when you stay relatively well.  Also, you start thinking who you could have passed this virus on to and how easily they could also be affected as well, this plays on your conscious day in and day out, although you had no deliberate intentions and did not know you had the virus, and breathe a sigh of relief when they test negative and remain to be in good health.

Then you come out of self-isolation, people say you must be so relieved to get back to normal and you want to start getting back to normal.  But what is normal?  Trust me, nothing is normal again and will not be until we all have been inoculated and have developed herd immunities.  I was really petrified to go near any family members and still stay away as much as I can.  Going into shops, I really avoid talking or being near anyone, you almost hold your breath when talking to someone so not to breathe on anyone – it is terrible.  And this fear is not only because I am afraid to get the virus again - because I am afraid  - just because I have had it does not mean I am immune and I am really scared to pass it on, even though I am not contagious anymore

People’s reactions to you are also quite strange.  You have the people who are afraid to even call you when you are self-isolating (or after) because they don’t know what to say or maybe think you will pass it to them over the phone …… haha.  Then when you come out of isolation people naturally do not want come in contact “just in case” you are still contagious and even those willing to spend time with you will almost sit as far away as possible or lean back as far as they can, when standing talking to you even though there is a good distance between you already – just to keep their distance,  a small lunch that is set up is suddenly cancelled because you are invited, so you start feeling a bit like an outcast and then you get the people who see you and can’t believe you had Covid because you look fine, so ask if you really did have it?  My advice to those people is if you are worried you will get it stay away, I would not take offence, it is natural.  And further advice stay at home it’s just safer - that’s what I am doing, on-line is brilliant, everything you could want at the touch of a button.

Note: Leprosy, an infection of the skin, was once consider to be so highly contagious that the word ‘leper’ came to be used to describe anybody who was shunned by others on moral or on other social grounds.

 

 Dear Readers,

Gert-Johan Coetzee

          They evidently have short memories at the Johannesburg based Sunday Times. Eight years ago its ‘fashion’ fundi Lin Sampson slammed just about every aspect of the dress South African fashion designer Gert-Johan Coetzee created for a seventeen-year-old girl’s matric dance.

          Now in a huge about turn in the lead story in its Insight section recently, it described him as ‘one of the country’s most sought-after dressmakers.’

          Talk about eating Sampson’s words, which were very unpalatable, this article was, fortunately for Coetzee, not one of Sampson. It was written by Leonie Wagner.

          The one Sampson regurgitated was about Melanie Olhaus, who showed commendable ingenuity and daring to get Olympic swimming gold medallist Chad le Clos to agree to partner her at her matric dance. She did this by holding up an invitation placard in the crowd that gathered at Johannesburg airport to welcome athletes returning from the Games.

          But instead of concentrating on this aspect of what was a very unusual story, Sampson did her best to ruin the girl’s special occasion by letting her poisonous pen  run wild about the girl’s matric dress and Coetzee himself.

          She began: “Okay, so the dress was wrong. Anyone could see that. It was a bit like a Swiss cheese,” she went on, “a hole where you expect cheese, or a bit like a bathing suite that Ester Williams, a 50s swimming star might have worn – in the pool – and it was little more than an animated rag.”

          And if her own bitchy remarks were not enough she quoted an anonymous colleague, who I do not believe existed, as saying, “It didn’t fit.”

          After having a field day knocking Melanie’s dress Sampson turned her attention to the designer. One of his greatest crimes, apart from Melanie’s dress, was having designed one for one of the Kardashian sisters. That made him “a warrior of the junk genre de jour, of reality TV, of people who are famous for being famous (whatever that means), people who are not famous at all but think they are.”

          As if that was not enough of an insult she added: “With his platinum curls and sweet lips, he has a terminal case of celebriphilia.”

          In Sampson’s opinion Melanie didn’t even get her hair style right as it was “augmented with extensions that gave the appearance of boiling over.”

          The latest article in the Sunday Times told us that Coetzee has designed dresses for the likes of Miss Universe Demi-Leigh Nel-Peters, Oprah Winfrey US singer Kelly Rowland and various other stars.

          Not bad for a curly haired farm boy.

          By coincidence Sampson’s byline that I have not seen all that often in the paper recently, appeared in the same edition as the one about Coetzee pictured on his family’s farm. Sampson was the author of The Drag Trade, about the queens of the Cape that appeared in the LifeStyle section.

          Regards,

          Jon, the Poorman’s Press Ombudsman and defender of curly haired designers.

          See also:lin-sampson-out-bitching-herself.html