Obama try making friends for a change

Dear Barack Obama old boy,

al-Qaeda chief

         A ragtag group of poorly educated men in turbans and nightshirts are running rings round your good old US of A.

         They’re making a laughing stock of your country that purports to be the greatest one on earth yet has all the
hallmarks of a nation on the slide.

         Do you and your bungling CIA honestly believe that a group that so brilliantly organised 9/11 is now so incompetent that it doesn’t realise that your guys eaves drop on everything?

         al-Qaeda’s chief Ayman al-Zawahiri tells his Yemen leader to do something and you press the nation’s panic button that closes US embassies all over the Middle East.

       

Don't laugh too soon

  Talk about running scared. Talk about encouraging the enemy. Yet the exercise is so insane that the closures were only designed to last for a few days as if al-Qaeda is a robot that once set can’t have it’s timing changed.

         Can American tourists now claim a tax deduction for bullet proof vests when they go abroad because you and previous administrations have made the stars and stripes a symbol of hated, wicked oppression?

         You might as well close all your embassies permanently. They won’t serve any purpose if it’s too dangerous for your citizen’s to travel.

         How about this for an idea? Get your country and the CIA in particular to stop meddling in everybody else’s business. Start a make friends offensive. If it’s half as good as the way you have made enemies it will be a great success.

         Tell me Barack old boy how would you feel if you and Michelle had organised a lavish wedding for your eldest daughter Malia. And while you were celebrating the happy event attended by hundreds of guests a hijacked Spectre gunship appeared overhead and opened up?

A lot of Arabs don't see the joke

         If you were lucky it would perhaps leave only you and Michelle badly wounded but alive while everyone else, including your two lovely daughters would not only be dead, but in many cases so mutilated as to be unrecognisable.

         As you know these AC -130 gunships carry such a formidable array of machine guns and canons that their ghoulish crews brag: Blood bath is our way of getting clean.

The lethal bird of prey

         So if your family was to be at the receiving end of one of these flying mincing machines you would do what you have done to Bin Laden. You would hunt the perpetrators across the world until they were taken out.

         Well that’s exactly what al-Qaeda is doing in retaliation for what you Yanks have done to make friends and influence people among the Arabs. You can’t go around murdering thousands of their men, women and children without encouraging more 9/11s and similar attacks on Americans everywhere.

         Your cowardly gunship crews slaughtered so many people at weddings in Afghanistan that one satirical blogger wrote in 2008: I’d say it’s about time we gave up on the wedding-party bombing strategy. We’ve been following it for over six years now, and things are worse in that country than when we first started bombing it’s weddings.

         On one of these occasions the saturation gunship fire was so great that afterwards relatives were burying pieces of flesh pulled off trees instead of bodies.  Nothing that moved remained alive, cats, dogs, sheep the lot were butchered with their owners.

         Barack why not try making friends instead of gunships. It might keep a lot more people alive and pro USA.

         Yours hopefully,

         Jon, an International Peace Advisor 

P.S. Just a friendly bit of advice. If you ever have to organise a wedding call on a better intelligence service than the CIA to make sure everything goes without a hitch.